Comfort Food

 In my bachelor days (is there a word for a single female? I dunno.) I often made a meal of whatever finger food I could find.  Tortilla chips with a warm bowl of refried beans + salsa + cheese was a favorite.  Tonight I plowed through quite a lot of that.  I guess I’ve been “angst-y.”  Okay, there’s no “guess” about it – I’m stressed! 

It’s been about 10 days since we found out that my mother-in-law has an incurable cancer.  There are so many things to worry about!  How is she feeling emotionally?  Is she at peace with her life (and impending death), and “right with God?”  Is there anything she regrets never doing?  Can we help her with any of that?  When can we afford to go halfway across the country to visit her?  My husband has been working lots of overtime to earn airfare money, since there’s no more room on the credit cards (…another worry…)

And there’s the guilt.  I could have been a better daughter-in-law.  I could have written her actual LETTERS instead of just sending greeting cards a few times a year.  I could have spoken to her on the phone more often, instead of just reminding my husband to “call your mother.”  And the biggest guilt of all:  I never gave her a grandchild.

The doctors have estimated that she has 3 months to live.  Since I am unemployed, basically sitting on my butt doing nothing useful all day, I volunteered to go stay with her as long as needed, so her daughter can go back to work.

So there’s a few things I have to do here before I can go.  There’s an absolute MOUNTAIN of laundry to do!  And I played around on Pinterest all day, instead of going to the laundromat…  Now it’s too late to go, and my husband is going to be annoyed when he gets home and there’s still bags of dirty clothes in the living room.